Saturday, April 27, 2013

My Dreams

Hiya Snappers! It has been awhile! I have been super crazy busy! Even busier than before when I ignored you! Forgive me?  Will you still love me? Promise? Wink!

I have been my charitable, loving, giving self, and been helping several individuals make some really big things happen in their lives, been busy cleaning three houses, had some awesome play dates, library time, more play dates, and EVEN MORE play dates, kid, grown up, grandmother, family and otherwise! Pschew! I need a vacation! Or to sit down for an hour straight! Hah! Not!

So today I am inspired by a fellow blogger, dreams, and my dream of crazy abstractness from last night! I was trolling through FB last night before bed, after the family was asleep.  I came upon a bloggy buddies most recent post!  So, after reading, I soon fell asleep.  Which is I am assuming what prompted my crazy a$% dream. So this one is for you Miss Sarah! Go check her out at The Sadder But Wiser Girl .

So in the dream, I was living in a big house, a la The Hand That Rocks the Cradle.   My family slept upstairs in the attic.  There was another family living in the attic with us.  You  know how in dreams, there is a familiar place, with familiar aspects, but everything is different somehow Surreal?  Well the attic was ginormous! But our families king size beds were only three feet away from each other.  The dream was in a clear but hazy arrested state of reality.  A subconscious nod to Flowers In the Attic, from my Junior High days? Maybe The Diary of Anne Frank? Who knows! First of all, I have never lived in a house where the attic was habitable, and second, I have never co-habituated  with another full family of 4.  Odd. The day progressed with all of us fully dressed in old fashioned, white, church clothes, just hanging out in the attic.  Then there was the sad part.  For some odd reason, the other family was leaving the house,  moving out.  It seemed like we were oddly happy all living together, but then suddenly they had to leave.  They did not take their things, but their leaving had a feel of permanence to it.

The strangest part is that it was a blogging buddy that I have gotten to know, but never met.  She and her family were the other family in the dream.  No one spoke in the dream either.  Not one single word was uttered.  There was no noise whatsoever.  I feel a deep sadness as I watch them get into an old 1940's car and drive off.  Her family didn't really have discernible faces, but I knew who they were. I watched out the window as they drove away, and remember feeling such a deep sadness.

So what do I take from this weird random abstract dream? That I haven't written in a while, my creativity has been stifled, and that because I haven't written in awhile, that I will lose all of my lil 'Snappers, including friends.  Maybe? Maybe it because of the recent loss of close but not so close family members? Maybe it's from helping a dear friend move recently, after a life changing event. Who knows.  I will take a random abstract dream any day, over one of those dreams that comes true.

 Anyone else have those but me, the dreams that come true? The dreams that are in such vivid detail, that you could swear  that they were real?  Then six months later, after the dream is long forgotten, the events play out exactly like in your dream and you are left with an uneasy sense of deja' vu.  Then it hits you, you dreamed that this exact scenario was going to happen, only you dreamed it six months to a year, or several years ago? Yeah, I have those dreams.  They can really weird you out! Not very often anymore, but yeah I have them. Wait...Everybody doesn't have those? I stopped having them so frequently when I started paying excruciating detail to them.  Just like that they stopped. Maybe your subconscious cannot be too self aware of self fulfilling or self prophesizing dreams? Who knows!

Then there are the dreams about those closest to you dying.  The ones that leave you crying, and in such physical pain that they wake you.  You are sobbing so hard that it has woken you from a deep sleep, to find that your pillow is soaking wet, and your face is covered in tears.  These are the kind of dreams that allow you to remember every single detail. Mine two worst ones were of losing my mother and my grandmother. I have been through losing my mother, and it was every bit as bad as I dreamed and worse.  I cannot remember if I dreamed the exact scenario years in advance or not, I was too caught up in the grief of the moment and the things that had to be done, to even contemplate.  As I am writing this, I do wonder though. Did all those many recurring nightmares I had of losing my mother, actually  foreshadow her death? I don't know. I have had several of losing my Nana as well.  Again such pain and sorrow, I woke up sobbing my eyes out.  Is this just life's little way of reminding us that the inevitable will one day happen, not to get to comfortable? To appreciate every second of every day we have with our loved ones? I know I called my loved ones after those dreams.  And I did hold them closer, and I did cherish every single second. Well played my psyche, well played.

I also remember having this one recurring dream for years.  I cannot quite grasp the details of it now, but I remember that I couldn't quite reach something.  It was always the same.  I went through the exact motions of the last dream, and I am always chasing someone or something.  I always end up not quite being able to reach the person or thing that I am chasing.  This dream too seems all too real when I am in it.  Sometimes I wake up remembering exactly what happened, but most times, it all becomes a little fuzzy upon waking.  I tried to remember, and the harder I tried, the faster it slips away.

There are the random dreams that make no sense, and then there is the one dream I keep trying to re-create.  The most awesome dream I have ever had.  I will not go into too many details, as it is private, but I just have to tell you about the dream that blew my mind!  I did not even know that this kind of dream could happen to females! What happened in this dream between me and my husband was all too real.  I was awoken by the power of my orgasm from this dream! I had a wet dream! Let me tell you, I totally identified with teenage boys on this one.  I woke up shaking, and immediately looked over at my husband, to see if he was being ornery in my sleep, and he was snoring! I was still as a mouse while I processed what had just happened to me. It was so erotic and I felt incredibly sexy. As in the I'm Too Sexy song! I wondered if I could do it again!!! When he woke up, I told him about what had happened.  He thought it was awesome! I was totally impressed with my bad a$% self, and was stoked for my body and mind to do this again! Wowza! Alas I am still waiting! I guess the stars and my libido had aligned at exactly the right moment in the universe, and POW! I socked it to myself, and how!  Favorite. Dream. Ever!

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