Thursday, April 10, 2014

Scary Super Stalker Ninja Sleuth Stepmom

Hiya Snappers! Welcome back! Please bear with me while I figure out what's uppity up with the GRAY screen on the home page of my little bloggity blog! I have been arguing with it and it just won't listen! Feel free to click on my other pages(at top-tabs) to see my normally pretty, and super organized blog format! Stoopid redheaded stepchild blog!

Anywhoo...I am going to share my latest super stealth ninja tale with you.

As moms and stepmoms, we are always checking up on our children.  Are we not ladies? Right.  So I was checking out the new website and business my 21 year old started with another guy.  I wanted to see who she had went into business with.  I checked out their sight, and clicked on him to view his stats.  I looked up on FB cause, you know, mom-nosey, and okay.  Didn't seem to be a serial stalker, pedophile, etc.  I inadvertently clicked send a friend request.  Whoopsie! I thought no biggie, he does not know me, he will disregard the request.

Rewind to family Christmas party.  My 21 year old, Sisse the Eldest, snuggles up to me on the couch and waxes poetic for a few, and then starts talking about how excited she is about the new  joint art venture. She asks me if I know a Mr. Innocent until Proven Guilty. I thought for a moment and answered honestly by saying no.  She then, after leading me down the path, pounces, and informs me I have sent him a friend request.  I did?  She tells me he is the guy who is her partner in her new joint art website venture.  Oooooohhhhh, it's all coming back to me now.  I explained to her how I was checking out the dude she was in business with.  I fessed up that I must have accidentally sent him a friend request.  Okay no big deal.

Apparently I freaked her and him both out by sending him a friend request because unbeknownst to me, they had the beginnings of a budding romance.  Aha! They both thought I was the scary psycho super sneaky ninja sleuth stepmom, stalking her stepdaughter's next boyfriend.  Bahaha! Silly little old goofy sweet airheaded me? Never! Aw shucks!

Fast forward to Monday night.  There was a terrible wind storm.  It blew our screen door off the hinges! So I was awake from 1:30-4AM.  I decided to follow Sisse the Eldest's advice and check out their website again, and sign up to sell some photos I had taken, on their website. I click around and check out the links and artists signed up with them, and I wanted to see if STE had her cell phone number listed on the sight, or if it was his number.  I clicked call.  You know how the call button usually displays the number, and you then have to select 'call' to actually call the number? Not this time.  It called whatever number was listed.  SHIT!  Damn! Fu@%! I start to freak out because the phone will not let me hang up! Crap! And they have my number! My cover is about to be blown! It is 3:30 in the morning, and I just probably called the now-boyfriend.  Hubbie the Dearest and Lil Punkin Doo are asleep, and if I speak, it will wake them both up.  Then I will have to explain myself and my boyfriend cyber-stalking to everybody! AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHH! I am in full on panic mode in  5 seconds!

So I do the only other thing I think to do, I turn my phone off.  Sigh of relief.  She is going to kill me in the morning.  Maybe just maybe their phones were on vibrate! So I send Sisse the Eldest a message, letting her know that it was me who just accidentally called them.  Yes, yes it was me, as I was checking out the website , like she had recommended.  Mr. Innocent Until Proven Guilty has kids, so I was praying that I did not wake them.  Crap. I swear I have cyber-technical Tourette's.  Any time I am oh you know, checking out potential significant other candidates on my own, on every social media outlet known to man, I inadvertently hit call, friend, or whatever button that says "let them know you are the scary super stalker ninja sleuth stepmom" that your kid warned them about! Sigh.


So she explained to him that I was the super sweet, funny, airheaded, at times ditzy, goofball fun one stepmom! The alternate personality worked again! Pschew! Now we will not mention the high school MySpace and journals that started all this super secret stalking stepmom alternate personality....some methods need kept secret. Wink! Every mom needs to keep tabs on and check out what their kids are up to and into.  Good parenting practice. At 3:30am-great parenting.  That takes dedication!


  1. OMG...this has me laughing so hard!! D'oh! It's the Keystone Cop version of the Scary Super Stalker Ninja Sleuth Stepmom!! LOL!

  2. HIL-LARIOUS! Dont worry, if my mom said all that was accidental I would totally believe her. And it is great parenting to check out what the kids are doing! I don't think anyone in my family has every been to my blog or my etsy shop in the last year since I started my blog. Either parenting fails, or parenting "your 26 with your own kid IDGAS" attitude.. you can decide that one lol

  3. Duuuuude, it's not a secret that you stalked my myspace if you tell me about it. I DO read this blog occasionally lmfao

  4. Managing to cover your sleuthing ass is quite a gift!!

    1. Bahaha! Right? The comment above yours is the oldest that is referenced in the above writing! Hah!