Tuesday, December 23, 2014

My Traumatic Bathroom Catastrophe #169

Hiya Snappers! Merry Christmas Eve Eve everyone! Hope everyone is ready for the holidays! I myself still have 3 more things to get, and a few things left to wrap.  Then I am ready!  I thought I would share my funny story with you all today.  I have been super busy with life, homeroom momm-ing, PTO volunteering, coordinating volunteer readers for classrooms at my child's school, traveling, Christmas partying in northern Virginia, sightseeing in DC for the first time, seeing my almost 87 year old Nana to present her with her 50 year membership pin to the Order of the Eastern Star at my Uncle's installation as Master of his local lodge in Pineville, North Carolina, visiting family, shopping, playdating, cookie-ing, gingerbread housing, Frozen party at schooling, and a half billion various and sundry other things that occur in the daily life of a stay at home mom!  SO here goes the story about one of those such occurrences! Hope you get a laugh at my expense! You are welcome! Merry Christmas!

I am in the shower.  I , of course, cannot shower alone. There are multiple 6 year old interruptions.  First she talks to me.  Then she pulls back the shower curtain.  After telling her not to do that again, she then tries sticking something in the shower for me to see.  I have obviously forgotten, what it is like to have my child at home with me all day long, since starting the first grade in August.  I am thrown off from my normal shower routine and timeline.  I am busy thinking of all of the things I have to do today. I take my razor and lift my arm to shave my underarm, and when I go to make the first swipe across my pit, the razor flies past my pit and shaves of two big, long, ugly strips of skin from my chin. It hurt! A lot! I try and pretend that my chin is not bleeding.  As I feel it oozing down my chinny, chin chin,(or as Lil Pumkin Do says, "My Shinny, shin shin!") I open my eyes and peer down into the bottom of the tub.  Yep.  There is an amazing amount of blood pooling around the drain, slowly swirling with the water.  It looks like a macabre candy cane design.  Then in a strange, removed from the situation, as if in an opening scene from a  Stephen King movie kind of way, I realize in horror, that that is my blood.  TWO DAYS before Christmas festivities begin! Oh my WOW! Well, just...SHIT!

I cannot believe that I have just done this.  Right before Christmas! When there are so many pictures to be taken! ACK! So I then realize I only have to wash my face, because I obviously am having an airheaded day that does not need to involve using a razor kind of way, day! So hairy legs and pits, yeah, we'll just go with it! Le sigh! So I wash my face, and it burns like hellfire! As I rinse my face, I can distinctly feel where there once used to be pieces of me that are now gone! Ooww! It burns! As I watch the last of the blood swirl down the drain, I touch my face, trying to gauge how fast my chin is bleeding, to see if I need stitches or not.  I think we are okay to just swathe my face in band aids, and wait until the bleeding stops! I cannot believe I did this.  I amaze myself at times. SO I peek at my chin in the mirror.  Yep, just like I thought, no covering that one up! So I whip out the Mickey Mouse band aids, and go to town.  Ironically enough, one of the band aids says BAM! Oh so appropriate! And hilarious.  This is a goldmine in bad jokes waiting to happen! So I am just going to roll with it! So much for pretty perfect makeup for holiday photos! Good excuse to go makeup free, or opt out! Hah! Not happening! I am that annoying picture taker at EVERY family gathering.  Not likely that I will be allowed to opt out!

So by the evening, it finally scabbed over.   I now have to remember not to touch my chin. Because it hurts.  So here are a few not so random selfies, because I just had to share this with you all! At least it wasn"t my eye this time! Hahaha!



I hope everyone has a beautiful holiday, Merry Christmas, Happy Hannakuh, Happy Kwanzaa, or whatever holiday you celebrate or don't! Love you guys! Merry Merry!