Guest Blogging Week; I'm No Hum Drum Mum

Hello Snappers & my minions hiding out there, I see you! ( o )( o ) ImNoHumdrum-Mum and I'm here to take over the world...I mean guest post...yeah, that's totally what I meant. I'm delighted to be a part of this spectacular, 10,000 View event! (Go Ginger, Go Ginger!) *Insert extreme white girl dance*
A week of guest posting? OH, how lucky all you snappers are! Though, its us bloggers who should be honored! Now, my minions are already familiar with my non-sense but no worries, I'll brainwash you before long. I don't mean to toot my own horn (TOOT, TOOT!) but I'm AWESOME!! My mommy says soooo!! :-} ( OK, so she doesn't but I am in my head and that's close enough for me. Catching on to the non-sense yet? No? Keep going.)
I've spent some time thinking over what to write for this huge milestone. Of course, ginger had a little guidelines to follow, but no worries....she didn't cut me off at the knees. However, I don't think my thoughts on Paula Deens recent racial outbursts and the dropping of the N bomb, is really going to fly. Haha.
So..... why blow job will save your marriage? No? Dang! Teens using anal to avoid pregnancy?....Not so much? Hmmm.... Oh where shall ImNoHumdrum-Mum take you snappers? How about an island? Yes, I think that will do.
Here you are on a beautiful, deserted island. This isn't Cast Away, I'm not giving you a friend like Wilson. No, in reality, Wilson was a great "person" to get stuck with. You don't have to feed him, he doesn't talk back and the chances of him killing you in your sleep is well....nonexistent.
No, instead, I'm giving you the 5 most annoying people, you could ever be stuck with. I know, I'm so mean. :) You'll get over it!
1. The Kardashians: Ok, so that's not one person but we're going to just lump them together. Lets face it, no matter which one you pick...they will all likely be just as useless as the next. Two days in and you'll be trying to figure out how to hang them with their overly priced, almost nonexistent, clothes.
Don't believe me? Just Imagine it. Kim Kardashian has her big butt perched on a stump, complaining about the sand on her pretty $3,000 dollar dress. Ordering you to find her some clean water and to wipe her shoes clean. Then you'll have to build a shelter, that will of course be far to below her standards. Hours of her day will be spent griping like a child and treating you like a servant.
More power to you if you can handle her. As for me, I'd be pushing her off a cliff. Bludgeoning her to death with her own shoes and then using her as bate.... I hear shark tastes great.
2. Bill Cosby: He's a pretty funny dude, how could he ever be a bad island pick? Just think about it. Non-stop generic jokes and endless offers to give you his " puddin' pop". Ewe, no thanks Bill, I'll pass on that one. Now, add on the fact that he's old and won't be much help in finding food and building shelters. Exploring the island will take you twice as long since gramps will need a rest every 20mins and pee every 10mins. (Side note: it'll take him 3mins just to pee.)
If the island has large, dangerous predators....like dinosaurs. (What? It's my island.) Then you are either going to be stuck saving his butt all the time or end up getting eaten, because he was slowing you down. Sorry Bill, looks like you'll have to be dinosaur chow. I don't have time for all that.
3. Jeff Dunham: I love this man, he got me through my first labor and delivery. However, I would never want to be stuck on an island with him. First off, he makes a living by basically talking to himself. That means that he is already slightly crazy. Being placed on an island is not going to Improve that kind of insanity.
Second, who wouldn't get tired of watching him talk to all the different dolls? I don't know about you but there would come a point where I would fear him killing me in my sleep...or "Walter".
Third, Im willing to bet he's the kind of guy who loves to play pranks. He'd be up late into the night, making creep sounds that will inevitably make me pee my pant. No one wants to pee their pants or worse...have a heart-attack. No thanks Jeff, you'll have a take a long swim because I couldn't be stuck with you.
4. Lucas Cruikshank: This guy plays Fred on nickelodeon. Never, have I ever, seen a more annoying character. If you have the ability to act this annoying then chances are, you are that annoying. Personally, this isn't a chance I'm willing to take. Nope, sorry Fred. The voice alone is enough to make me gouge my ear drums.
Look man, little kids might love your silly antics and fart jokes, but I'd rather try to swim for help in zombie, shark infested waters, then be stuck on an island with you. (You know thats serious, haha.) I'd boil myself in a pot of water before I ever considered staying on an island with you. I couldn't imagine a worse kind of hell, really, I couldn't!
5. June Shannon: that's right, Honey Boo Boos mama. I like to think the reasons are obvious. She's fairly useless in the heat or in general, as far as she shows herself. She'd eat you out of island! I'm not picking but anyone who eats spaghetti covered in butter and ketchup is likely to eat anything.....and everything.
Could you imagine seeing her try to build a shelter? Yeah, me neither. She'd lay a few branches, across two trees and call it good. I don't think her knowledge of the best restaurants or ideas of what's "smexy" is going to help any of us out. However, if the island was full of road kill then I'm sure you'd be set! Though, the thought of her shaking her "goods" after a dip in ocean is enough to make anyone want to starve.
I don't know about you guys but I'd much rather be stung by bees, dragged by a truck or flattened by elephants, then be left alone with these people. Oh my gosh! Could you imagine the horror show our world would be if these were the only people left and they had to repopulate?....We'd really be doomed then!
Now peace out to all you snappers and. My minions of course! Thanks you so much Ginger for letting me be a part of your big event. Congratulations on that big 10,000!!!

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