Misadventures in Moving

So we made the last packing trip to Ky. The very last trip! I was so excited to finally be done! We arrive at the house, jimmy the lock, and get to packing and cleaning! Shakin the Foundations is for those you who missed  the post about why we had to beak into our own house.  Hubbie the Dearest was packing the pick up truck that we borrowed from the in-laws, and I trusted him to do so. I was focusing on packing the last of our stuff in the van that we borrowed from his grandparents, and cleaning the old house.

So we finally get loaded up, and hubbie throws the vacuum cleaner and the broom on top of the bed rails and the 4 yo's play set. The grill and a wooden ramp was also in the truck. I assumed everything was secure. So off we went. We were both completely exhausted, and so very ready to be making this last trip of lifting stuff. So down the road we go. Through Flatwoods, Ky into Ashland, Ky, and across the pretty blue bridge, into Ironton, Oh, for one last time en route to Wild and Wonderful West by God Virginia, or home.

I went slowly, to make sure nothing flew out of the truck. I slowly sped up to the speed limit. Now in my FIL's truck it is very easy to lose track of your speed. He has a huge Chevy with a powerful V-8, and I had to keep a constant watch on the speedometer. So when I looked up and saw my child's Lil Tikes jungle gym and slide slowly lifting off and taking flight, followed shortly thereafter by the grill, bed rails, broom, my crutches and vacuum cleaner, I think I was in denial. Denial of what I had just witnessed happen in the 20 degree freezing weather. Major "equipment" fail.

Now in my state of shock, I did manage to pull off the road. Hubbie the dearest is calling me, I assume because he thought I wasn't " equipped" to realized what had just happened. Now the jungle gym landed in the right hand lane, which hubbie the dearest quickly was able to drag off onto the side of the road. The crutches were easy enough to retrieve by dodging the five o'clock traffic.

The crutch pads were in the middle of both lanes , as were the bed rails. We were very lucky no one got hurt running over the bed rails in the middle of the road. Although there was at least one flat tire from running over them. Whoopsie! And I can now attest to the fact that rubber crutch pads are indestructible! Mine now are prettily decorated with tire tracks, but completely intact!

Now the hub has been giving me crap lately about not having the " equipment" to do certain manly tasks. Such as using a power tool to hang curtain rods, backing up a big truck, etc. So you can imagine what was stirring in my brain when he divulged the information that he guessed he should have "tied things down." Hee Hee.

Well you have got to love hindsight. That lovely little smack you on the as$ after you did a really bonehead thing, kind of feeling! So While he is dodging cars and flying pieces of the bed rails and pink broom and metal grill pieces, working it out like he is in an 80's video game, I am hobble running as fast as I can to try to cross the road to retrieve our one wheeled wonder of what is left of our formerly awesome grill. Thank God it was charcoal not propane! I also want to take a minute to thank God for not allowing our flying truck of horrors to impale anyone! Seriously.

So where was I ? Oh yes, retrieving the grill from being smooshed up against the fast lane guard rail. So for those of you just tuning into my blog, I have been walking again for almost 2 months, after a rather bad broken knee/leg. So imagine my hobble run as I was trying to hurry Could this day get any better?  So as I navigate traffic, and wait until no one is coming to start lugging, hobble, walk, lugging, hobble, walk this thing across two lanes of traffic, here comes hubbie the dearest to my rescue. Guess he felt bad that his manly" equipment " failed him, and he kinda, sorta loves me so he didn't want me to get squished! That and he didn't want a littering ticket. Ba dum bump!  So we are finally pulling all of out stuff back to the truck to reload and tie it all down this time, when up rolls the five oh! Crap!  I don't know about you, but blue lights make me nervous.  The kind of nervous that a girl gets when she used to have a convertible Mustang GT, and had more tickets for lead footing, than Carter had liver pills! Ingrained nervousness. Conditioned response.

So I am standing in the truck bed, having used the play set as a step stool because I am too short to reach the truck bed, freezing my ninnies off, when I see the blue lights go off behind the van, which is a ways back from the truck. Double crapola! So hubbie the dearest traipses off to go handle the copper. He must have found the right words, because the copper not only put out a flare, but he used four of them! Whoo hoo hubbie! And he gave us back road directions! Super awesome! What he did not do however, was offer up his super young, way more in shape than our chubby forms, muscled body to help reload our truck in the freeze your buns off 20 degree weather! Oh well can't win 'em all right?  

So heave ho, we get the grill into the truck.  Upside down.  So as not to scratch FIL's truck.  Well crap, that won't work! Everything won't fit! So we dig out blankets to lay under the footless, wheel-less grill and turn it upright.  By now, I am in the way, having turned into a human popsicle.  Having been standing twelve feet in the air, in 20 degree weather, on the side of the road with cars whizzing by.  The wind chill up here sucks! I find it humorous that no one stops to help.  I wouldn't either in freezing weather.  So I start to randomly waive at people. I at this point have probably gone hypothermic, and as I climb down from the truck bed, I get the uncontrollable giggles.  Hubbie the dearest even finds the humor in our situation, and gives up a few chuckles. I then give minimal help to hubbie the dearest in lifting the play set back into the truck.  Upside down with the slide sticking out the side.  Now hub goes about tying everything down, and being my usual self, I start snapping pictures of our ridiculous "situation".

So now we are an hour and a half behind schedule.  I don't think my booty will ever thaw out!  So those of you that follow my personal FB account, you will remember this.  Over the course of the last couple of weeks, while we have been moving, I was concerned with hanging curtains in the living room.  So oh, you know, I could walk around naked, and keep my personal schtuff, well you know personal.  Well I borrowed the electric drill set from the FIL, as ours was somewhere yet unpacked.  The hubbie asks me not to put a million holes in the wall, just to wait on him to come home from work, and he would put up the curtain rod holders.   He said I lacked the "equipment" to do it properly without a million holes.  Okay.  So he continues to tease me about little things I did, that I wasn't well enough "equipped" to do.  Insinuating that I needed a dinkie doo to accomplish such manly tasks. It has become our little inside joke. So guess whose "equipment" still hasn't assisted him in putting the curtains up? Right-o.  Guess whose "equipment" led to the biggest moving misadventure I have ever had, and the only time this has ever happened to  me? Right, you got it. 

So the moral of the story is, You need the right "equipment" to get things done, and done the right way.  The "equipment" that grows children, takes care of them, and nurtures them.  The same "equipment" that allows us to loves husbands unconditionally ,to work together, to compromise, and to take care of our families. The same "equipment" that put the curtains up without saying a word.  The very same "equipment" that will sit back and help you repack the truck when your "equipment" malfunctions, and allows you to forget to tie everything down so it doesn't blow away.  The same "equipment" that allows me to love you with all of my soul, to forgive and forget, and to find the humor in everything.  The "equipment" that loves you more than anyone else ever could, my woman's heart.