Misadventures in Moving

So we made the last packing trip to Ky. The very last trip! I was so excited to finally be done! We arrive at the house, jimmy the lock, and get to packing and cleaning! Shakin the Foundations is for those you who missed  the post about why we had to beak into our own house.  Hubbie the Dearest was packing the pick up truck that we borrowed from the in-laws, and I trusted him to do so. I was focusing on packing the last of our stuff in the van that we borrowed from his grandparents, and cleaning the old house.

So we finally get loaded up, and hubbie throws the vacuum cleaner and the broom on top of the bed rails and the 4 yo's play set. The grill and a wooden ramp was also in the truck. I assumed everything was secure. So off we went. We were both completely exhausted, and so very ready to be making this last trip of lifting stuff. So down the road we go. Through Flatwoods, Ky into Ashland, Ky, and across the pretty blue bridge, into Ironton, Oh, for one last time en route to Wild and Wonderful West by God Virginia, or home.

I went slowly, to make sure nothing flew out of the truck. I slowly sped up to the speed limit. Now in my FIL's truck it is very easy to lose track of your speed. He has a huge Chevy with a powerful V-8, and I had to keep a constant watch on the speedometer. So when I looked up and saw my child's Lil Tikes jungle gym and slide slowly lifting off and taking flight, followed shortly thereafter by the grill, bed rails, broom, my crutches and vacuum cleaner, I think I was in denial. Denial of what I had just witnessed happen in the 20 degree freezing weather. Major "equipment" fail.

Now in my state of shock, I did manage to pull off the road. Hubbie the dearest is calling me, I assume because he thought I wasn't " equipped" to realized what had just happened. Now the jungle gym landed in the right hand lane, which hubbie the dearest quickly was able to drag off onto the side of the road. The crutches were easy enough to retrieve by dodging the five o'clock traffic.

The crutch pads were in the middle of both lanes , as were the bed rails. We were very lucky no one got hurt running over the bed rails in the middle of the road. Although there was at least one flat tire from running over them. Whoopsie! And I can now attest to the fact that rubber crutch pads are indestructible! Mine now are prettily decorated with tire tracks, but completely intact!

Now the hub has been giving me crap lately about not having the " equipment" to do certain manly tasks. Such as using a power tool to hang curtain rods, backing up a big truck, etc. So you can imagine what was stirring in my brain when he divulged the information that he guessed he should have "tied things down." Hee Hee.

Well you have got to love hindsight. That lovely little smack you on the as$ after you did a really bonehead thing, kind of feeling! So While he is dodging cars and flying pieces of the bed rails and pink broom and metal grill pieces, working it out like he is in an 80's video game, I am hobble running as fast as I can to try to cross the road to retrieve our one wheeled wonder of what is left of our formerly awesome grill. Thank God it was charcoal not propane! I also want to take a minute to thank God for not allowing our flying truck of horrors to impale anyone! Seriously.

So where was I ? Oh yes, retrieving the grill from being smooshed up against the fast lane guard rail. So for those of you just tuning into my blog, I have been walking again for almost 2 months, after a rather bad broken knee/leg. So imagine my hobble run as I was trying to hurry Could this day get any better?  So as I navigate traffic, and wait until no one is coming to start lugging, hobble, walk, lugging, hobble, walk this thing across two lanes of traffic, here comes hubbie the dearest to my rescue. Guess he felt bad that his manly" equipment " failed him, and he kinda, sorta loves me so he didn't want me to get squished! That and he didn't want a littering ticket. Ba dum bump!  So we are finally pulling all of out stuff back to the truck to reload and tie it all down this time, when up rolls the five oh! Crap!  I don't know about you, but blue lights make me nervous.  The kind of nervous that a girl gets when she used to have a convertible Mustang GT, and had more tickets for lead footing, than Carter had liver pills! Ingrained nervousness. Conditioned response.

So I am standing in the truck bed, having used the play set as a step stool because I am too short to reach the truck bed, freezing my ninnies off, when I see the blue lights go off behind the van, which is a ways back from the truck. Double crapola! So hubbie the dearest traipses off to go handle the copper. He must have found the right words, because the copper not only put out a flare, but he used four of them! Whoo hoo hubbie! And he gave us back road directions! Super awesome! What he did not do however, was offer up his super young, way more in shape than our chubby forms, muscled body to help reload our truck in the freeze your buns off 20 degree weather! Oh well can't win 'em all right?  

So heave ho, we get the grill into the truck.  Upside down.  So as not to scratch FIL's truck.  Well crap, that won't work! Everything won't fit! So we dig out blankets to lay under the footless, wheel-less grill and turn it upright.  By now, I am in the way, having turned into a human popsicle.  Having been standing twelve feet in the air, in 20 degree weather, on the side of the road with cars whizzing by.  The wind chill up here sucks! I find it humorous that no one stops to help.  I wouldn't either in freezing weather.  So I start to randomly waive at people. I at this point have probably gone hypothermic, and as I climb down from the truck bed, I get the uncontrollable giggles.  Hubbie the dearest even finds the humor in our situation, and gives up a few chuckles. I then give minimal help to hubbie the dearest in lifting the play set back into the truck.  Upside down with the slide sticking out the side.  Now hub goes about tying everything down, and being my usual self, I start snapping pictures of our ridiculous "situation".

So now we are an hour and a half behind schedule.  I don't think my booty will ever thaw out!  So those of you that follow my personal FB account, you will remember this.  Over the course of the last couple of weeks, while we have been moving, I was concerned with hanging curtains in the living room.  So oh, you know, I could walk around naked, and keep my personal schtuff, well you know personal.  Well I borrowed the electric drill set from the FIL, as ours was somewhere yet unpacked.  The hubbie asks me not to put a million holes in the wall, just to wait on him to come home from work, and he would put up the curtain rod holders.   He said I lacked the "equipment" to do it properly without a million holes.  Okay.  So he continues to tease me about little things I did, that I wasn't well enough "equipped" to do.  Insinuating that I needed a dinkie doo to accomplish such manly tasks. It has become our little inside joke. So guess whose "equipment" still hasn't assisted him in putting the curtains up? Right-o.  Guess whose "equipment" led to the biggest moving misadventure I have ever had, and the only time this has ever happened to  me? Right, you got it. 

So the moral of the story is, You need the right "equipment" to get things done, and done the right way.  The "equipment" that grows children, takes care of them, and nurtures them.  The same "equipment" that allows us to loves husbands unconditionally ,to work together, to compromise, and to take care of our families. The same "equipment" that put the curtains up without saying a word.  The very same "equipment" that will sit back and help you repack the truck when your "equipment" malfunctions, and allows you to forget to tie everything down so it doesn't blow away.  The same "equipment" that allows me to love you with all of my soul, to forgive and forget, and to find the humor in everything.  The "equipment" that loves you more than anyone else ever could, my woman's heart.

Roll With Me

Hello again! Is it me your looking for?  Thanks Lionel.  I finally found a free twenty minutes to write.  I have been a little busy lately!  I have been packing and moving back to my home state of West Virginia! No more Kentucky! Pschew!  I apologize in advance to any KY lovers out there, we did not have a good adventure in the Bluegrass, or excuse me, whatever the heck else y'all call it now state!

  So I am very stoked to be moving home.  Closer to my Dad, my in-laws, and grandparents-in-law.  They are the best babysitters in the world.  I am excited to be back in WV, close to all of my friends, and all of our extended family as well.  I swear I am coming to town soon Beckley peeps!

 This is the third time I have completely packed and moved my family since September of 2011.  We are averaging a move every 8-9 months.  I am tired.  I was released to walk again on my healed  broken leg on November 29, 2012.  December 3, 2012, we received life changing news, and started looking for a house to rent back in our home state.  That is easier said than done!  Thank God for the people he has put in mine and hubbie the dearests lives! We have lots of angels looking out for us! His grandparents found a house for us to check out.  When he took us to see the house, I fell in love.  It was big enough for our ginormous furniture, and was adorable!  The two storage buildings sealed the deal, and we were sold!  So house hunting was relatively easy!

Then came Christmas and job hunting. Not specifically in that order.  So hubbie the dearest found a new job in two weeks, and soon after he started staying in WV with his mother, to go to work without a one and a half hour drive each way!  So we had an awesome Christmas! Unspoken Christmas blessings were free flowing , and the angels in our lives, I will say again simply amaze me!

So during the past seven weeks, my family has been apart a bit.  That sucked!  But it is over now!  We have been living out of our clothes stored in trash bags and clothes baskets between my MIL's and Daddy's houses.  We even stayed a couple of nights in 'our old Kentucky home'. I know I am a cheese ball!  I am more of a schedule and habit freak than I would have ever thought!  We have had no schedule and order to our lives since the beginning of December.  I am very happy to be in our new home, and about halfway settled.  I am super glad to have my family back!

So while hubbie the dearest tackled the new job where he works twelve hours at a time, and has two weekdays off, I have been commuting to KY to pack and move us.  I couldn't do it alone.  I have had amazing help from Miss Michelle, MIL, FIL, GMIL, GFIL, Sissy the eldest , Unca D, and Sissy the Eldest's boyfriend, Mr. T(who the entire family is in love with by the way!)  We are so very blessed!

As I said before, I am tired.  I am writing to you, while waiting for dear old dad to pick me up for another trip to the bluegrass sta...or what the crap ever state it is now, oh yeah, unbridled state, or some crap like that! Aaahhh...got to love change!  And that is what this post is about actually, change.

Change is the nature of the beast.   Change is the only constant thing, well ever.  It is all about how you adapt to whatever happens to you.  Was I excited to be moving again in under a year? Heck no!  Was I excited to be coming home? YES! Did my child enjoy getting closer to her grandmother? Absolutely! Was I excited to be staying in someone else's house, and hardly ever having "just us" family time? No. Am I glad hubbie the dearest had lots of bonding time with his mother? Yes, because I know firsthand, that he will cherish this time down the road. Was it necessary? Yes.  Did I enjoy being the house guest that never leaves? No! Am I excited to be making the seventh, hour and a half trip in eleven or twelve days to Ky? Absolutely not.  Do I want to get moved? Yes!  So I am dragging my exhausted body and aching knee, yet again to our old house to finish up getting the little stuff, that we did not get with the big rented truck the day before yesterday!  Am I worried that anyone in Ky will see this post and know we are no longer living there, but some of our stuff is still there? No, because we did not make one single friend in Ky, not one.  People were not friendly like in WV.  In our little experience, they were self serving, backstabbing, mean people.  I know I am generalizing.  I apologize, I am venting!  Okay, gotta run.   I will finish when I return!

 So another trip to KY is in the books.  It's not over yet, but this moving adventure is quickly nearing a close.  Thank goodness!  Change is good.  It keeps us all on our toes.  You learn how to roll with the punches.   You learn that it is not about what happens to you, but how you roll with what happens.  It is how you handle what life throws at you.  I always try to keep the glass half full.  I am the yin to my husbands yang, he is the glass half empty kinda guy.  I am that annoyingly perky, chipper, eternally happy, positive gal that most people would like to smack.  Some people take my pesky perkiness for a sign of lacking intelligence.  I assure you, I am not lacking in either intelligence or patience.  I have a rather annoying supply of both.  Just because I choose to take the path of a lady bred with good manners, does not mean I am stupid.  It means I am smart enough to not comment on and offer up my opinion,  just for the sake of putting it out there.  I am a very opinionated chic, however, I do not choose to openly argue, with the intent of swaying others to my way of thinking.  I do not need others to affirm my intelligence, or my opinions or values.  In my expert opinion, a lady always knows when to keep her mouth shut. 

 That being said, it's all how you roll with circumstances.  Life is totally awesome one day, and then throws a big old crap and snow snowball at you the next.  I can honestly say there is way more positive in my life than negative.  When I start to think how right in the middle of this moving ordeal, my phone screen dies, and the phone becomes unusable, or how my car almost blows both tie rods and bearings, as well as needs new tires, and all seems so very negative, like okay karma what else are you going to throw at me, we already paid double rent on two houses, and deposit, then security deposits on all the new utilities, ACK!  We are not made out of money!  So of course when it rains it pours.  I am tired of the downpour! And moving.  Did I mention I hate moving? I have gotten very good at it though....see there comes the positive peeking out!

That's when all of our many angels stepped in and rescued us!  Angels above must have been watching out for us, because my car should have blown the tires and tie rods a long time ago, which would have caused the car to flip over and over. Thank goodness my lil punkin doo and I were not in the car!  And then you have the angels that are in your life everyday.  The friends and family that pay it forward to you when bad stuff happens.  The kind that save your a$#, just when everything looks so bleak you want to cry.  They are the kind that make sure you have a working phone, and just pick up the auto tab without blinking, even though they did not need to foot the bills.   And then they tell you not to worry about it, just to pay it forward!

 SO to close, I did not edit or proofread this post, so bear with me!  My family and I are definitely blessed with the most awesome family and friends in the entire world!  So when I think of all the negative, I make myself think of all the positive, and it's impossible to be down.  With all my many angels and blessings, how can I be anything but positive and thankful for them?  Life is a roller coaster of bad and good, and it's all how you spin it.  So spin it positively and roll with me!

The Chinese Torture Device

     Hello dear readers.  Oh that's right, I don't have any subscribed readers yet! Ha ha! My bad!  Todays blog is brought to you out of domestic  bliss, cough cough, what I really meant was, frustration.  We are in the process of moving.  Not packed.  Don't have boxes.  The husband expecting me to move all of the small stuff out of the way so he can move the big stuff.  What about no storage in our current abode, did he not understand/ where precisely am i suppose to put all the little stuff?   I have consolidated storage boxes and cleaned out the three year olds closet.  Went through her  stuff, stuffed animals, weeded out toys she dosent play with anymore, all done.  Ran out of storage tubs/boxes.  There are now garbage bags of keep and not to keep stuffed animals sitting in our hallway, as well as the gigantic tubs full of stuff.  Stuff to keep, stuff for a yardsale, stuff to give away, stuff to save for my brother and his pregnant wife, all taking up the way too small hallway between her bedroom and ours.  She could not navigate the piled up hallway if she tried in her fuzzy half awake state of wandering from her bedroom to ours at 3am, if her life depended on it.  So guess where she is sleeping for now?  EVERY night?  That's right.. in dear 'ol mom and dads bed.(Thank goodness for a king size!)  The reason we are moving,, is that we need more room.  We have outgrown our current digs.
     So you ask why dont I move the space obstructing bags and tubs to our new home?  Aha, this is where it gets good!  There are spiders.  The omghuge-o-mongosizedspidersthatUncleDonniehadtospraywithWD40togreaseitoffofitswebsohecouldsmooshit spiders, that even old Uncle D was afraid of.  Yep!  That's right!  How did you guess?  I hate spiders.  I am afraid of spiders.  I scream like a little girl if one drops down in front of my face while I am driving in the car.  I accidentally was not thinking one day when I had such an outburst in front of the 3 year old.  Dad has the same affection for spiders that I do.  AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  That we have now by proxy transferred to our precocious child.  So now she has an anxiety attack every time she sees a bug, spider, or especially flies.  We are working on correcting this.  Ooopsie! My bad! Got the picture now? Ok great.  Lets procede.  So the news says there are unusually huge spider infestations this year.  Oh really? Well thats just freakin spectacular!  They must have looked at our new house before we did, and run screaming.  So we go over to clean the new house.  My husbands grandmother goes along to help.  She is a 70-something lil tornado, a dirty houses worst enemy, cleaning hell on wheels so to speak!  So I am spring cleaning the kitchen, she goes to work on the cobwebs.  She kills at least 40 itty bitty spiders in every room.  Then she pulls out the windows to rid them of said infestation.  Better her than me!  She showed me two days later her wounds inflicted during combat!  Her entire forearm was covered in spider bites, and all red and swollen.  I felt awful.  So she says if they come back, let her know,we will have to spray or set off bug bombs.  Ok.  I thanked her profusely.  She saved my life and all, ya know?
     So I mop,dust, wash the fixtures, paint the three year olds room, etc, to get our new house ready to move into.  Then all of a sudden, they are back.  A few at a time mind you, but they are back.  So we have also discovered that the air conditioning is cooling underneath the house, not the actual inside of the house.  So while we wait for that to be fixed, we have to hold off on the bug bombs.  Fast forward to my frustration.  I cannot move the small stuff, the bagged stuff, the dishes, the anything, until the ac is fixed, and the bug bombs have exploded.  Period.  So I am frustrated.  The three year old wants to play in her room, which is remniscient of a hurricane disaster sight, so she cannot.  She is more demanding of my attention now, than she ever has been.
      Did I mention that in the middle of all this unorganized chaos, that I am suppose to be washing and packing to go on our first ever "family"vacay with my parents? Um yep, right-o.  My parents want to see my precocious three year old at the beach.  So we were suppose to leave tomorrow, and bam!   My mom got sick again and ended up back in the hospital.  Vacation=cancelled.  My momma has more frequent flier miles at the local hospital than anyone can possibly imagine.  She has spent the better part of the last year in the hospital, as well as doing a two month stint in the Cleveland Clinic.  She is a walking medical miracle I tell you.  Plus the hopital should have perks for frequent guests.  Like a points system with rewards, like American Express.  They need to provide a rewards bedside shopping catalog with prizes to those who have accumulated so many million points, from forty some odd hospital stays.  Yep.  But thats a whole 'nother blog!   Ok, suspected it was going to happen, but still stinks.  I wish my poor mom could catch a break.  So I have to call the UHaul people for dad and cancel the pull behind.  Yes I said pull behind.  My parents know how to pack...I mean full luggage, makeup case, jewelry case, bag for front of car, bag for overnight motel stop, snacks bag, cooler, kites, sand toys, pool toys and floats, puke bucket, wet-wipes, and everything else one would or could or possibly might deem necessary for the beach or pool experience(also the stroller, wheelchair, and walker must all be accessible for bathroom and food stops..thus the need for the pull behind.) So like I was saying, I get sidetracked easily ya know?  Anyway, I have been a little busy.  Throw in three birthday dinner celebrations for my dear ol hubbies 37th birthday, and having a broken car, along with everything else, and kapow, welcome to my life.(see In Exile post for birthday celebration detail) So my darling daughter has been acting her age.  Three.  They say the terrible twos, but then the twos fly by and you are smacked in the face with this three year old adorably sweet demon child, who secretly grins when not obeying.  Also secret grin emerges when manipulating to get what she wants, and trying out the hitting, scratching, biting, kicking, poke you in the eye-ing, finger up your nose-ing, in your mouth-ing, in your ear-ing, and the discovering of parents body parts that make them squeal and pinching them(elbows,nose, arm,leg, knee, etc.)  Where oh where did my sweet perfectly behaved child go?  My younger brother told me yesterday that he and his wife are expecting.  Yaaaaaay!  I am so excited for them.  And then it hit me!  No one tells you it's the terrible threes.  Every parent in the world has experienced them.  It's the best kept secret on the planet.  Every child goes through this stage.  But we do not discuss it.  Only the "bad" parents cannot at some point make their child mind.  WRONG.  Every child has periods of growing and independence, and tests their boundaries.  These periods suck.  The adorable demon child that has possessed your lil one, wears down your tolerance and patience so thin, that several billion dollar companies, have created chinese torture devices, to restrain these little hellions, and hold them still while parents lay down the rules!  Thats how they have become billionaires!  By mass marketing the best restraining system in the entire world!  Every parent has one, and it has a rather common household name.  The highchair.
     So this afternoon, I hita breaking point.  I did not yell, I did not cry, I did not scream, or talk until I was blue in the face.  I calmly went over, picked up my precious, and deposited her in the highchair.  She had no idea what was coming.  I made her eat her lunch.  Every bite.  Normally shse waits until everyone is finished, and then eats.  She sometimes still asks me to feed her, or drops her food to get a reaction or a laugh.  Sheis quite capable of feeding herself without making a mess.  She is very smart for her age.  So this afternoon, I shut her down, and laid out the rules.  I told her, while restrained in her highchair, that there would be no more whining or crying to get what she wants(I had to stop an attempt at both), there would be no more mommy or daddy asking multiple times to get her to do something, if she did not obey on the first request, then the consequence was time out.  I also told her that on very important things, like walking in a parking lot and not holding someones hand, that there would be immediate consquences.  So this afternoon, I had a very well behaved child.  She picked up her toys, and laid down for a nap without incident. Yay me!  I have taken back control! With the,assistance of my mass marketed chinese torture device(because it holds the toddler still and they cannot go anwhere and must sit and listen to you..ie torture), the good 'ol highchair! So, now while she naps I have gotten several things marked off of my to do list, and am going to take a soak in a scalding hot bath!  I deserve it!  Then, when my husband arrives home from work, he is going to dye my hair red.  He just dosent know it yet! 

Moving

So, a little history to get started.  We got a new house.  I went over two days ago to get started cleaning  before we move in.  It was cleaner than anything we had looked at, and it is such a cute little house, that we just HAD TO have it.  Soooooo, now it's ours.  It and all the hair that come with two dogs and a house cat.  My grandmother-in-law jokingly asked me if I wanted to make a pillow with all the hair from the intake vents, so that our dear husbands would believe us!  "Why does it take more than two days to clean a house?" Well there was also the extermination of the itty bitty eight legged creatures to deal with, who had apparently decided to colonize in the house for the two months it sat empty.  Then there was the inch long mold formation on the inside of the toilet, the spiders that kept popping up everywhere(after extermination), the dog hair inside the fridge(even in the ice maker I tell you) and the ac vents that were all breeding tiny dogs on the inside!  Crazy! And then I ran out of cleaning solution! And then the three year old needed a nap both days.  And then there is the issue of the grass not being mowed for almost a month.  Men are hilarious when they think spring/fall cleaning should take all of one day!
Now let's discuss the kitchen drawers.  They are plastic bins bolted onto wooden drawer fronts.  I kid you not.  I have spent the majority of the two days in the new, rather old kitchen!  There is a gas stove.  Let me repeat that.  THERE IS A GAS STOVE!!!!!  It scares me!  I have never had a gas stove in my life!