A blog about the wild and wonderful adventures of one crazy lil' gal from West Virginia!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Tattler Thursday 1/10/13
Hi there my dear and devoted followers! Guess what? That's right, it is Tattler Thursday again! Time to share your funny stories about childrearing and your little angels! Remember , I love kids, love to hear kid stories, and anything goes here at W3G on Tattler stories! The only rule is, your stories have to be about kids! Your kids, step kids, if you babysit or nanny kids, your grandkids, great grandkids,your nieces and nephews, your bff's kids, that kid that hit me on the head in a restaurant, while I was in a wheelchair with my broken leg, with his great aunt's birthday sign on a yardstick because of poor parental control, etc. Time to share your funniest, craziest, weirdest, most exasperating, shaking your head kid moments! I am going to share a couple of mine too today! My goal is to get more stories than last week! We had 10 last week! Growing slowly but surely! Alrighty then, so get to tattlin'! Cannot wait to read your stories! Happy Tattlin'!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
SO I will post the first story! When I was young, not yet married, and still a twenty something, I went to visit my bff for a week in Sumter, SC. She had just had a new baby boy, and I could not wait to see him! So one day we were getting ready to go out, and she had him in a bath. He peed in the bath, so she said I probably had nothing to worry about, that little boys peed at a temperature change. Okay, so no problem. I wrapped him up in a towel, and went downstairs to his room, to begin the process of lotioning him up, and getting him dressed. So I throw the towel back, and begin to lotion him up. I guess it was still cold, because he decided it was target practice time! He aims, he shoot, he scores! Yep, right in old Ayntie Ginger's mouth. Now let me tell you, there is nothing more disgusting than having someone pee in your mouth. Baby or not. Gross. So lil Mr. LC scored 100 points right off the bat. This kid must have been practicing! So I then keep a towel over his ahem, lil dinkie doo, and finish lotioning him up. Okay, there, done. Now I start to put his diaper on. As I quickly lift up the towel to raise his lil bootie off of the changing table to slide the diaper up under his lil booty, aim shoot, again! This time I duck and dodged! He only hit my shirt. Geez kiddo, could you give me a break? It's been several years since I was a nanny for a little boy in college, where I met your dearest mother. I forgot the rules of boys, and they had not invented the PeePee TeePee yet! Who by the way, I am sure does not deserve the target practice, you little stinker! Hope your aiming in the bowl now! Love ya JAC and LC!
ReplyDeleteSo here is another from another bff of mine's kid. Note, these are about my experiences before I had kids, so your stories can be about any kid experience you have had! Wink! I went south to visit another bff of mine and her family. Her son G, was a toddler, still a baby at the time. She and her then husband, went out for their anniversary, and I babysat. I loved kids, so I was very excited, as you can imagine! SHe gave me instructions on his nightly routine, and off they went! So we play, eat , have a ball, and then it is bath time. She told me to run a bath, let him play, and then wash him, dry his hair, and put him to bed. Easy enough right? Riiiiiight! So I am sitting on the potty watching him play, and all of a sudden, did he start to play. With his, YOU KNOW! So I started freaking out a little. Did I tell him to stop, did I turn my head, did I make a big to do over it, or just let it go? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I had never had a baby from the beginning at this point, so I had no idea that it was a natural self discover phase that all kids go through! SO I decide to just let him be. I am freaking out, what the heck am I going to tell his mom? Freaking out because we have got some baby porn going on right here in this tub, AND I DON"T WANT TO WATCH! Or be in this very awkward situation! SO I finally decide to bathe him and get him out of the tub, I just cannot take it! So I soap him off, and as I rinse him off with the removable shower head, he grabs it from me. Now mind you, she said he could play with the removable part, but in no way shape or form did she prepare me for what exactly she meant! He starts giggling from where he is sprinkling his YOU KNOW with the removable shower head! OMG! Why me? Noooo. So I am really freaking out now! I am having images of jail time, and how to tell my best friend that I enabled her kids masturbation learning curve! Soooo, upon their arrival home from dinner and out, slightly tipsy, I told her, them, what had happened. She died laughing out loud. And left me hanging for what seemed like an eternity, before she apologized for not preparing me for the showertime antics. Apparently there is a period every child goes through of self discovery, and it never crossed her mind that I did not know that. Pschew. Now that I have kids, I get it, but I sure didn't back then! I have been majorly traumatized by the things my friends kids have put me through!
ReplyDeleteFor boys the period of "self discovery" lasts from about 7 months old until death! LOL!
DeleteI know right? Hahaha!
DeleteI just watched the video of this one to refresh my memory, so here goes: January 1999 - Kayla was 7 and had a very loose bottom tooth, Charley was just about to turn 5. I'm not sure how she decided to do it, probably because I was a trouble maker and dared her, but Kayla decided she would pull her loose tooth by tying it to the doorknob!
ReplyDeleteI tied dental floss to her tooth and she set off on her mission, my hubby was running the video to catch it for posterity. Needless to say, once you're tied to a door you begin to realize it might hurt when the tooth comes out! She tried to slam the door herself, but always ended up taking a step forward so that the floss just tugged on her tooth. She tried to let her little brother slam the door, but ultimately was too intimidated once we all saw how excited he was to do the task. I, good mother that I am, laughed at her, taunted her, called her a chicken...none of those excellent tactics resulted in completing the extraction.
Finally, while trying to encourage her to slam the door herself, I decided to end the drama quickly. I grabbed the door handle and yanked it shut before she knew what was happening. Her tooth flew out with a yelp which was quickly followed by "Oh great!" as she located her tooth on the floor.
So there you go...a tattle on myself more than anything. But, I have the video evidence that a tooth CAN be pulled by a string tied to a doorknob!
Love it! Too funny!
Delete
ReplyDeleteJulie Cochran- Embarrassing kid or mommy I am not sure but here it goes. 2 days ago I was gonna give Logan his medicine and I couldn't find his bottle of ADD pills. But he had 1 more pill in another bottle from his dads. So, I go in with that 1 pill to the bathroom where he is and I am asking about the lost pill bottle while giving him the 1 that I found. Logan drops it in the toilet while he was sitting and peeing! So, in a complete panic of my kid going to school unmedicated I take the fish net out and dip the pill from the toilet! Lol. As I am rinsing the pill off in the sink I told Logan if we didn't find his pills he was going to have to take that one! Lol. I am freaking and Logan is saying "I am not taking that...I peed o was it!" And I am like, "oh yes you are!" Thank god I found the bottle of pills.
ReplyDeleteLibby Jo Baisden Salyers-
Conversation of the day between my Dynamic Duo:
D1: you smell like a bagel.
D2: so, bagels don't smell bad.
D1: Mrs. S, don't bagels smell bad?
Me: well I don't think so. I think cinnamon bagels smell great.
D2: haha
D1: okay then, you smell like a rotten bagel!
D2: and you think I am weird yet you know what a rotten bagel smells like!
Me: okay boys - bagel insult time is over - get to work!!!
They do make me laugh.
Alexandra Mallory -I remember this one this time that my stepmom got poo under her fingernail...
ReplyDelete