Thursday, April 12, 2012

Should Have Been Blonde

Some days I amaze even myself! I was not planning on writing today, but inspiration happens!  So we'll start this evening and work our way backwards.  So just now, I took the pizza out of the oven.  Perfect.   begin cutting the pizza, and I keep pushing harder and harder, but the crust will not cut.  I try and try until the pizza has multiple tracks across it.  At this point, I am stumped as to why it won't cut.  I lift the edge up and find that in one of my many moments of utter genius in the kitchen, I have baked the cardboard flat and the pizza. Riiiight.  The thought immediately goes through my mind that i am lucky I didn't burn the house down!(again)  Gas, the kitchen, and I do not get along.
   The last kitchen episode was three days ago.  My husband buys a new grill.  It said 20 minute assembly on the box, yeah right!  But more on that in a minute.  My hubbie makes awesome barbecue ribs. Note I said my hubbie.  So we have planned our first grill out of the sprinummer(whatever this crazy season is), and I have instructions.  For food prep in the kitchen.  He is brave, very brave.  So I am to get the ribs out, place them in a pot to boil.   Once they boil, I am to turn the heat down.  Ok, no biggie.  I can handle that.  I have done it before.  OK so I am through step #1.  I turn the heat to 4.  Then i wait and stir, and wait and stir.  For 40 minutes.  I begin to think there is something wrong.  For those of you who are just joining my faithful readers, welcome.  FYI: I have a gas stove.  The first one I have ever had that I was required to cook on.(my chef caliber roomies always cooked before, so I did not kill them) So I decide to crank up the heat and see if I can get the ribs to boil.  And then it happens.  The moment you have all been waiting for.......the gas pops on.  Glorious blue flames! So pretty! Aha, there was my problem.  I forgot to crank it up and turn it down. Oh well.  OH WELL??? I almost blew up the house, again(yes this has happened before.)  The house smelled like gas(40 minutes of free flowing gas mind you)when dear old hubbie got home.  Oopsie.  I have told you all before and I will tell you again, I do not belong in a kitchen(especially one equipped with a gas stove!)
   So the ribs are cooking.  My hubbie asks for help assembling the new, 20 minute assembly, grill.  I am handing him parts, unwrapping parts, holding frame up, and holding the instructions.  I am simultaneously running over to the swing set to push my darling three year old on her swing.  The hubbie yells for me, and I go rushing back across the yard to the patio.  On the way my flip flop outfitted foot connects with the end of the grill rack.  Mind you not merely connects, but the front part of my heel on the instep actually squishes down onto the metal prong. Ooooooooooowwwwwwwwww. So there's one more hole I did not have before!  Then we put the rack on backwards, and have to uninstall it and reinstall it.  We finally ate dinner around 8pm.(yes the daughter had already eaten, for those parenting ability doubters) But the cool thing is, I GOT THE CORN SOAKED CORRECTLY!!!!
   So today my grandmother in law came over to entertain my child while I started the tedious process of sorting.  The dreaded sorting that happens before packing to move. So I got a lot done.  I got the one bothersome bin out of our bedroom.  The one that stayed at the end of our bed, packed with old winter clothes, since our last move in September.  I sorted all the clothes into piles, and started washing to give to friends and to give to goodwill, or save for a yardsale.  Well  I decided to be an over achiever, and pack the current winter clothes away in the bin.  I got the entire shelf in our closet cleaned out and packed! Yay me! Hubbie will be so happy!  Hubbie will not be so happy at the remaining piles of laundry waiting in our bedroom floor waiting to be washed!  I also cleaned out all of my daughters drawers, reorganized them, and sorted out all the too small things for a summer yard sale! GOOOOOOO ME!
   Next we ate lunch, and layed down for a much anticipated nap.  I don't know who was looking more forward to the nap, the thirty seven and a half year old or the three and a half year old!  So right after she closes her eyes, she whispers in my ear, I have to tell you a secret!  Okay.  "BOOGER!" Youch, EAR! Booger, booger, booger, giggle, giggle, booger, booger, giggle, giggle, booger, booger, giggle, giggle. You see the pattern?  Well this went on for 10 minutes.  Then we calm down, the fact being established that the word booger, cracks up my three year old. I feel like I am in elementary school again.  So it is apparently one of those days when she is going have trouble getting to sleep. No, I silently whine to myself, I have a migraine, and I need this nap!  We will go to sleep! I vow we will! So an hour and fifteen minutes in, she has to poop.  Nice. So we proceed to play "I spy with my lil eye.." for the next twenty minutes.  I guess it helps her concentrate!  So then we lay down again, and dear old daddy calls.  She wanted to talk to her daddy I inform him, and she proceeds to get on the phone and start screaming booger booger, giggle,giggle, booger, booger,booger, all while hysterically giggling more and jumping on the bed.  Hubbie gets off of the phone in apparent frustration, after he had a good laugh.  Whether at her or at me for having to deal with her booger antics remains to be seen! So we finally lay back down, and she at this point, is obviously not going to sleep.  So we get up, and go in to do laundry, and decide on dinner.
  Oh and remember when I lost my Zoloft like two weeks ago? Remember, I turned the house upside down?  I even eventually looked through the two bags of trash I had put in the bin! Well I found it!  I had placed all of them in the Iron supplement bottle, after counting them one morning.  I looked in the Iron bottle and noticed two kinds of differently shaped pills.  I dumped them out and lo and behold, there they were!  Right where I put them! Of course I could not have found them before going through the trash!  Yuk!  I keep telling my husband I should have been a blonde. When we asked her what she would think of mommy as a blonde, the three year old said I looked better with white! Thaaaaaanks doll! Mommy loves you too!

No comments:

Post a Comment