The New Toothbrush Incident

About five to six years ago, I had an incident with my toothbrush. It could have been a tragic incident, but I narrowly escaped permanent damage. I was in a hurry for work and was multitasking. I was brushing my teeth and my hair at the same time, as I was running late for work. May I mention this was before I had a baby, and before I learned how I had to get ready significantly earlier than our go time.
So I am one of those fast and furious, hard teeth brushers. I am anal about having clean teeth. Always have been, always will be. So Here I am multitasking, and whammo, just like that, I poke myself in the eye with a toothbrush. You did what you ask? Yes I jammed my toothbrush in my eye. I was using such force, It just slipped out of my mouth, ran up my cheek, and jammed right in my eye.
Yes I know how ridiculous it sounds. It makes me feel like the kid in A Christmas Story," you'll poke your eye out kid!" Yup, I did poke my eye out literally. Keep in mind that your toothbrush is one of the most disgusting germ filled items in your house. And No, I hadn't boiled mine recently!
So I call the eye doctor to schedule an emergency eye appointment. They got me in immediately. The nurse that answered the phone said you did what? You stuck a toothbrush on your eye? Wow....
So driving to the eye doctor 15 minutes away was excruciating, as it was a sunny day. I put on my sunglasses, and drove myself, as Hubbie the Dearest had already left for work. Can I just tell those of you,who have never had a scratch on your eye, several scratches, cuts, abrasions, detached corneas and the like , it hurts like a son of a gun. Your eye waters until it swells up, and swells closed from the constant watering. Your eye pours the tears to try to wash out whatever it is that is irritating your eye. The slightest light is excruciatingly painful, and bright sunlight is unbearable. Your other eye gets tired from doing all the work of two, and it becomes almost impossible to hold your eyes open.
So when I get to the eye doc, I discover that I have already become gossip fodder. I repeat my story like 10 times, and finally the eye doc comes in to see me. She made me feel not quite so stupid by telling me all of the crazy things people poke themselves in the eye with. She did say I was a first. I still to this day can say to anyone in her office, I'm the toothbrush incident girl, and they all know who I am.
So 10 eye doc appointments, several antibiotics, steroids and medicines, an eye patch, and about a month later, my eye was better. For a long time, whenever I didn't get enough sleep, or got too much chlorine in my eye, or when I slept with the fan on, etc, the many scratches and abrasions on my eye opened back up. I have since learned to be careful with my eyes, and all the triggers that reopen old wounds.
About a year after my eye had healed, Hubbie the Dearest insisted on sleeping with the fan on. One night, I rubbed my eye where it started itching because it was dry. Detached my cornea. So I had to learn not to rub my eyes in the morning.
So this brings us to today. I was brushing my teeth, fast and furiously as usual, when I did it again. I had another toothbrush incident. It slipped right out of my mouth and up my lips, only this time, I jammed it in my nose! I know right? GROSS! But let me just tell you, I said a little prayer thanking God for letting it end up in my nose not my eye! And, I just happened to have my phone in my pocket, so I immediately thought I would share the hilarity! Hope you are laughing as hard as I was!