Saturday, March 31, 2012
Tears, a Tea Party, and Smuggled Chili
So today started out good. Then it morphed into kinda crappy. It started out with snuggling. Awesomefamilysnugglingdaddydosenthavetoworkthismorningsnuggling. Then during lunch the 3yo had a tearful almost nappietime, I'm hungry, can ya feed me, breakdown. Nappietime soon followed. Daddy gets ready and leaves for the Home and Garden show, and mommy has some peace and quiet. Mommy could not take a nap, because someone must stir Daddy's famous chili every few minutes for four and a half hours. Guess who got relegated to chili duty? Little old me! So as I am dedicatedly stirring chili, I am looking for pictures to post on an upcoming blog about our recent happy place trip to the Bahamas, on the computer. I come across pictures of my mommy and my baby. My mother passed away four months ago. So the relaxed browsing turns into desperate searching for these pictures(I do photography on the side, so there are thousands of pictures to sort through). I start to leak. I am alone, and the grief just washes over me. Tears rolling down my cheeks, unabashedly boohoo sobbing, snot flowing down my face and throat, and coughing ensues. It doesn't help any that I should have been a blond, and have lost my Zoloft. Not just one little pill. The WHOLE FREAKING BOTTLE! Oh no! I look high and low, in the pill basket, in the current trash bag, in the cabinets, in the drawers, in the refrigerator, in the freezer, and in the canisters. My search expands to the bedroom, the bathrooms, the baby's room, under the couch, under the table, in the baskets around my house, in the other trash can, in the storage room, behind the coffee pot, and on the shelves above the washer and dryer. This leads to interrogation of the three year old. She has not seen them. She likes to play doctor, so she then changes her mind, and advises me she has my medicine. She will make me feel better. I then try to explain to her Mommy's medicine in the bottle. She holds up one pretend bottle after another, "this one mommy?" It has become a game for her, exasperating for mom. So I give up with the three year old. It then strikes me as ridiculous, the places I have scoured for my medicine. So I relegate myself to the thought of looking through the two bags of trash I took out earlier. Just not yet. I have to stir, stir, stir! So the three year old wakes up. She comes in to me boo hooing. I told her I miss Granny. She tells me I need a big hug to make me feel better. I hold onto her for a good five minutes. She said,"I miss her too!" She then says,"Mommy, I am so glad I have you to love, and I am so glad you love me so much! We can love each other! I miss Granny too!" She then proceeds to throw me an orange juice tea party. So after we drank all the tea and she ate her bunny shaped pb sandwich, I decide I am hungry. I have been painstakingly stirring the big pot of chili, and decided to smuggle some into a cup for my lunch. So this afternoon,I have thoroughly enjoyed my chili(comfort food), my tea party(just for me), my daughter(the biggest lil blessing ever), and a good cry(cleansing for the soul). Now on to search the trash. The fun never stops! Flies and maggots and spiders, OH MY! Here's to hoping I don't see my chili again!