Friday, September 28, 2012

Today's Random Thoughts

Today's random thoughts are brought to you by my neuroses, my 4yo, and Facebook comments.
  So  those of you who are just joining us for the first time, welcome!  To catch you all up, I hate spiders.  I am a stay at home mom to the most adorable 4yo, and I have a broken leg at present.
  So my Daddy decided upon returning from our recent trip to Tennessee, that he would stay with us a week to help me out.  The heating element in our dryer was broken, and we were waiting on the new dryer to be delivered later in the week, when it started.  I was one leg balancing, cleaning the bathroom sink, before the strange dryer delivery men had to see my bathroom where the dryer is located.  I was cleaning, and I realized I was not even going to attempt to clean the empty tub.  It has not been used for months due to poor shower pressure, and the new removable shower head in our other full bathroom. Can I digress and just give well deserved props to the inventor of the removable shower head.  Genius right there!  Love! Okay, so back to the shower.  My husband had killed several itsy bitsy spiders in the empty tub.  He just thinks it is enough to smoosh them. He rarely cleans up the carcasses.  So every time I hobble hop into our bathroom(this one is the most crutch friendly), I stare at the dead half carcass and squooshed separated legs of one of my dear old hubs kills. Gross.  So as I lean over the tub to pull the curtain across the length of the tub, I have to look.  I have to peer into the tub, scanning for that ginormous spider that I just know is there.  There have been many giants found in this tub before.  This time, there are two small spiders that have made webs in the bottom corners of the tub that I cannot reach while balancing on one foot.  Okay, life as we know it is not threatened by these two tiny little guys.(BTW, this is definite progress on my part!)  I will have hub kill them when he gets home.
   Every night since that day, when in the dark of the night, I have to go to the bathroom, I hop in fear into the barely lit bathroom on my crutches.  I hop in, turn around, balance, balance my crutches on the wall one at a time, precariously pull down my britches, grab the sink corner, and while still elevating one leg, lower myself onto the toilet.  Then the familiar dread creeps in. I wonder if I pull back the curtain, if there will be a bigolhugeospiderthatwilleat myfaceoffandjumponme spider in that tub again? Most nights I just hurry up and do my business and get the heck out of there.  So every couple of days I feel compelled to pull back the curtain and confront my fears.  I am happy to report that after today's inspection that we are still ginormo-spider free for now! Yay! But I can tell you everywhere in my house that there is a spider.  There is one down the hall, in the corner of the hallway ceiling, across from my daughter's bedroom.  It moved in last night.  There is one, possibly two, that took up residence in the far corner of my bedroom at the beginning of the week.  There are still the two longtime residents in the bathroom tub, and there is the kitchen spider.  He is a slippery little sucker.  I decided to face my fears and let him co-habitate for a small block of time.  I wiped his webs down, when they moved past the corner of the kitchen window.  So he decided to move higher, to the top half of the window, where I cannot reach.  It is like he is laughing at me.  I can hear his tiny little spider voice saying, "Haha lady!  I know your temporarily crippled and too short to get me anyway! Go ahead,try and reach me! I wanna see you knock down my webs now! Nah nah nah, nah nah nah!" So anyway, he is still there, for now, because I cannot reach him.  There are also three outside web spinners.  Two are on and their webs are across my front living room windows.  They only come out at night.  I think they are vampire spiders, because I never see them in the day.  Not pretty and sparkly like Edward, but only come out at night like really big and bad vampires.  Then there is the third one.  I have been battling him since June.  He moved in while we went to the beach.  He first camped out on the back doors.  He spun big, huge web in the night.  He then hides during the day.   i have knocked down his porchwide webs numerous times with the broom, only to wake the next morning to a brand new web in the exact same place as the one I just swept away.  I found him one day earlier in the summer, when I went to turn my daughter's hose on for her sprinkler.  There he was big web under the porch.  Ugh.  I spreyed him and the web with spider killer many times as well.  Aint nothing killing this sucker.  So for now, he is under the porch during the day, and habitates the opposite corner of my porch at night.  Ah well, winter is coming soon! I do not get outside much these days anyway!
  Here is my second randomMy 4yo cracks me up. She is walking stand up comedy I tell you!  She has her own little brand of curse words.  Whenever she is suprised or ticked off, she will say,"Oh Coconuts! or Yeah Hay, no Way!" Thanks Jake and the Neverland Pirates at Disney for those!  Today I hear her exclaiming,"Oh friggle fraggle!" Too funny! She has also said ,"aww wobble!" Another favorite is "Aw, poop a duck!" As any mom will tell you, thay have their own language!
   My third random thought for the day is for my dear friend M.  She is currently going through the ex headache.  Yes, almost half of all of us wives out there, have had to deal with at least one if not more ex wives.  She is now first hand experiencing the aggravation.  If you have a husband or boyfriend that shares a child or children with another woman, then you know the headache I speak of.  The one that we never talk about, because that would make us the 'bitchy' ones.  The best way I have found from personal experience, is to be the better, and bigger person.  Kill 'em with kindness.  I know this entails biting you tongue harder than you ever though possible, drilling your freshly manicured fingernails into bloody half moons in your palms in order to hold your tongue and smile, or taking a deep breath and counting to at least 10,000.  It envolves the patience of a saint, and believe me, by the end of the next up to 18 years, you will have earned that title.  It involves watching broken promises eat away at your kids, having the kids exposed to things that kids should never be exposed to, it envolves putting the kids in the middle, and lots of tears from big and little broken hearts.  Your heart will break for them a thousand times, and there is not a thing you can do but hold them and rock them to sleep. It envolves watching the birth mother hurt YOUR child time and time again, while you are raising and loving them.  It entails watching the birth mothers intentionally hurting their child, to hurt your spouse and to make the child hate or think less of you.  Your heart will break for your spouse and or signifigant other, as the other ex half tries to keep the children from you, because they do not like you.  You will see the ex's trying to still control their former husbands and boyfriends in a myriad of ways.  They will try to rip his heart out, ie through his kids.  The hardest thing to do, is to stand by his side and hold him as he cries, yells, or plots their death(just kidding on that last one!)  All you can do is be there for the kids, as their safe haven, their shelter from the storm(ie their mother), and love them unconditionally.  Your heart will break as your shared kids see the truth about their biological parent(if they were unlucky enough to get a bad one). You will wish you could smack some sense into a woman who calls herself mother, that only spends time with her child, when she wants to play mommy, or needs a babysitter for her current brood, not a real relationship with her firstborn.  You shake your head at horrific stories that your other half's family tell you, of things that she did to hurt the kids. You are the one who has to deal with the counseling, the acting out in school, and the terror stricken habits the kids developed because of nightmare exes.  You are the fall out girl.  Ms Make Everything Okay.  And you are glad to be, because you are full of love not hatred. You will pray to God to answer the question for you,of how could a mother treat her children this way.  You will also have to deal with late night or always during your family dinner kid time calls from intoxicated ex-spouses begging to know why, oh why didn't we work out, and the patience it requires to deal with it, so sthe ex dosen't yank visitation from your significant other? What was wrong with me and or our relationship, and what does she have that I didn't.  You will find that eventually as they grow older, that the what seems like the exes hold on your life loosens and goes away.(How boring their lives must be now that they cannot mess with you and yours, and now that they have alienated their kids!!!) But then you have the emails from the exes, asking marital advice in their current disfunctional marriage.  Trying to get to know your man again on the sly.  Stating that it scares them, that they might still have feelings for him, and they miss his family.  You will find yourself still getting posessive, and wanting to go at it, but your better than that.  As a grown up, you have all the exes secrets!  So instead of being all like,"Bitch, you wanna piece o me? Now it's like,"Bitch please, I been around for almost 14 years, and I know ALL your secrets.  Ones that even your kids don't know, so back off bitch and leave me and mine alone! Boom!"  You don't even have to say it aloud, just the knowledge of the power you hold is satisfaction enough!  You are the nice one, the kind one, the one who listens to everybody else bitch, but never says a word.  Knowledge is satisfaction enough! Plus I don't think the current hubbie would like the fact that you were trying to creep on your ex, ya know?  So when the child and her father are having a FB comment dialog, ex, please do not comment.  There is plenty I could throw out there here and now, but I have edited and am keeping it clean. Stay out of it, it's none of your business.  These are kinds of things that will happen to you.  These are all real situations that have happened to real people I know.  I have always said, don't ever talk bad about the other motha's, the kids will one day see for theirselves!   Every girl who has the potential to be soon dating someone with kids needs to read this.   I luvya Miss M! You have a heart of gold!  Hang in there, because it takes special people to be step mothers, and you are one special person!  ***EDITED with adult children in mind***  Random thought #3 was not intended to offend or hurt anyone, I was simply stating facts and my observations.  If you have taken offense to this post, it was not my intent to upset anyone.

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