A Night In the Life... The Commando PooPocalypse

This afternoon I decided that I wanted to watch the movie 'This Is 40'. I am obviously getting more forgetful as I age because I forgot the opening scene was the main couple, ahem, coupling in the shower. I immediately turned it off when the almost 6yo sauntered into the living room. Nope, that one does not miss a thing.

almost 6yo-"Mommy what are they doing?"
Mommy-"Uuummm...wrestling in the shower!'
almost 6yo-"That better not be the Daddy's butt!"
Mommy-"It's not honey, it's the Mommy's."
almost 6yo-"Okay, pppfffeeeeyyyyyeeeeewwww!"(what she adorably still says instead of pschew!)

Then after cleaning all day, in the course of Hubbie the Dearest getting home, eating dinner, and leaving for the mart of Wals, our house turned into a three ringed circus.

We were almost out of toilet paper, both Lil Punkin Doo and I are getting over a bout of the icky tum tums, and we had Mexican for dinner. We both run for the bathroom at exactly the same moment.  Me edging her out, but only because she offered to step aside and let dear old mom go first. I just turned forty you know?  I am looking forward to my golden cougar age, and she has me already at geriatric! Stinking kids! Or in this case, stinking mommy!

So I proceeded to blow up the bathroom, and use the last of the tissues.  All the while being engaged in semi-meaningful five year old conversation. And pay attention because there will be a quiz.

You know because we can never be that family that buys a shitload(pun intended) of toilet paper in advance of the impending PooPocalype.  We are that family that uses every last slip of toilet paper, tissue, baby wipee, and Sears catalog down to the last drop you know? So as I flush and the child rings in her turn, I dropped the bomb on her, baby.  Yes that's right, I did.  Mommy used the last of it. I advised her that dear old dad would be back in a few minutes, to take her time.

So I flipped my britches off, meaning to put on my jammies, bypassed the bedroom, and hurried straight to the kitchen to do the dishes before HTD returned. Because oh, you know, Mom brain.  Flitting from one thing to the next, and then the next , and so on.  Not you too? Just me? Mkay.

So as I am doing dishes I realize my Hub always told me it would be sexeh if I did the dishes naked.  So I decided that half naked counts! So as I am elbow deep in bubbles, a la' commando from the waist down, thinking sexeh thoughts for hubbie's return, that is when it begins.

The almost 6yo starts singing opera style at the top of her lungs, and she has some major big lungs people! It is a cross between Frozen songs and Rapunzel, with a touch of Ariel and Under the Sea thrown in for good measure.  And then the Fidget thing starts singing too.  But a totally different song.  And then the Furby Boom wakes up.  So there is madness going on in our house,  This goes on for about twenty minutes, because my youngest child is like her father, and did not take reading material or a tablet to potty with her so as to speed the PooMageddon along, but was accompanied by LalaLoopsies.  So as I go to check on her, she wants me to cop a squat in front of her and play dollies while we wait.  Ah, no thanks, but thanks. It stinks in here.

I furiously search for her some tissues in my purse, and lucked out, a pocket pack.  Then began the begging, "Please wipe me Mommy!!!" Another big no! And a big girl lecture. So I come back to resume the dishes, I finally put on my jammies on the way, and finish up.  Next up is flushing so as not to stop up the toilet! Don't forget to tune in next time!

Hope you enjoyed! Muah!