Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Man Habits I Live With

  1. Leaving the toilet seat up
  2. Peeing on the seat
  3. Not replacing the TP when using the last of the roll
  4. Leaving dishes at the table
  5. Leaving your socks in the living room floor every night
  6. Leaving your clothes where they drop
  7. Hanging suits on chair in kitchen, chair in bedroom, Why not in closet?
  8. Not cleaning out the pockets of pants
  9. Refusing to use Q-Tips, but scratching your ear with anything that will fit in your ear(pens, keys, etc), and not cleaning off the earwax
  10. When I service you, and I can't even get a back rub
  11. The crazy eyebrows that grow to ridiculous lengths, that make you look like Mark Twain, or Albert Einstein(and the 2 nose hairs that put me in trimming  mode)
  12. Taking out your stressed out work attitude on me and the three year old, instead of leaving it at work
  13. When they are in a bad mood and pick a fight
  14. Eating spicy food, when they know it will upset their bellies, thus ruling out mommy-daddy time later
  15. Double Standards ( ie. work calls..I was expected to pick up immediately in front of a group of twenty trainees I was teaching, but he always says,"I have work to do, somebody has to, I can't talk on the phone all day!")
  16. Asking what's wrong, and keeping at it until you aggravate the crap out of me
  17. Leaving breakable glasses in the floor every night
  18. Insisting since you have to work tomorrow and don't get to take naps, that your sleep is more important
  19. When trying to talk about my SAHM frustrations, throwing in my face going back to work if I'm unhappy
  20. When I ask for something on the grocery list that you do not approve of, not getting it(big grrr)
  21. Saying I should have more girls days out, but when I plan one and tell you in advance, you complain about it, and then planning a cookout on the same day I am having my Girls day, which prompts multiple texts and calls from you..."the baby's awake..." what seriously? Can you not handle the three year old for three hours?
  22. Thinking that I can wear and walk in cute high heels knowing for 13 years now that I have messed up hobbit feet that are not conducive to walking in high heels for more than 100 yards
  23. Telling your mom our business before you tell me
  24. Leaving all of our Tupperware at work
  25. When you are sick, the world is ending, nobody in the history of the world was ever sicker than you are right now, big baby...but when momma is sicky or hurty, oh well, life goes on
  26. Back rubs are not reciprocal 
  27. Leaves mowing grass shoes and associated grass clumps in and all over the house, after I have just swept 
  28. When I cook, I get to cook and clean up the dishes, but when he cooks, he leaves the dishes for me, and grease and food all over the stove, part of my SAHM duties I guess...turn about is not fair play in the kitchen(he does do the majority of the cooking, since I cannot peel an apple without losing skin!)
  29. Telling me you want me to be like I was when i was younger, ready to hop in the sack at anytime, wearing you out...well bucko, I am older, I am chasing around, entertaining, and teaching your child night and day, keeping your house clean, laundry done, dishes washed, and was on medication that reduces libido.  I also had un-plannable crap that free flowed outta my hoo hoo whenever it felt like it, since I had major female surgery in January, after almost dying in December.  Not to mention my mother died at Thanksgiving last year, and then five months later you moved me to Kentucky! Why wouldn't I want to jump your bones every second of the day? See above 28 other reasons...
   Now let it be stated, I am married to the most wonderful, giving, caring, loving husband in the whole wide world.  I know I have habits that he too, finds aggravating.  Neither of us are perfect, but we are dedicated to making it work.  Laughing together is the best medicine. I am glad that he puts up with me, because I get bitchy and grumpy too.  My Nana once told me, you don't want to find somebody you cannot live without, but someone you can live with.  So I have made peace with these man habits of my beloved.  I can live with them and him.

*NOTE: This was written in March, and has just been given the husband seal of approval!